Losing Heart

I recently had to take a step back to evaluate where I am in my life, and whether or not I want to continue on the same path. Despite a feeling that you’re doing what you’re supposed to do, we can still sometimes lose our way.

When I started GVC seven years ago I felt it was a calling, yet on several occasions I’ve tried to step away from it. Inevitably, no matter how far away I get from it, God always pulls me back. I do what I do because I have a sincere desire to help community based and faith based organizations; nevertheless, I still question if I’m making a difference.

A couple of days ago I had a conversation with someone about an opportunity to help an organization pursue grants. I shared with him my feelings about how I’ve “lost the heart” to do this work. He encouraged me to take a couple of days to pray about it and seek God about whether or not I should pursue this opportunity. The very next day, I was watching my church’s bible study online. One of our Elders got up to lead prayer. He petitioned God to help those who have “grown weary and lost heart.” I knew without doubt God was speaking to me, so I went to the scripture in the bible. “And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap, if we do not lose heart. (Galatians 6:9, New King James Version)

There is no question that at this particular point in my life I have lost heart, and I know that word was meant for me –to encourage me. Here’s what I now know: the only way to get to the other side – to reap the benefits of the work – is to stay in it. I can be assured that I won’t accomplish what I set out to do if I lose heart. But God promises that I will reap IF I stay in it. I know I can’t trust my feelings, but I can trust the word of God!

So I just wanted to take this time to be transparent for the benefit of those of you who are in a similar state of mind as I have been. Don’t give up, don’t lose heart. We WILL reap the rewards IF we don’t lose heart. Be encouraged!

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